Hope Of Morning (Icon for Hire)

My mind's a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast Blurs all the colors 'til I can't see past The last mistake, the choice I made Staring in the mirror with myself to blame Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside Nowhere to hide inside my mind I'm scared that you'll compare and I'll look a lifetime past repair I second guess myself to death, I re-solicit every step What if my words are meaningless? What if my heart's misleading this? I try to capture every moment as it comes to me Bottle up the memories and let them keep me company When the hope of morning starts to fade in me I don't dare let darkness have its way with me And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight I will not be giving in tonight When I'm old and grey, or thirty, or whatever happens first, I'll need you to reassure me I didn't waste a verse Or worse, what if my life's work is reduced to just myself Like never let you get a word in, while I dissect my mental health Or lack thereof, whatever, there's too many things to track I really can't remember if I'm insane or insomniac Now days, all the kids want crazy, wanna diagnose themselves Trade up made up epidemics, pass around prescription pills But my disorder can't be cured by a bottle, blade, or dose Self-disgust and selfishness tend to hold me awfully close But I don't wanna let you see that, I don't want my friends to know Self-disgust and selfishness take me everywhere I go When the hope of morning starts to fade in me I don't dare let darkness have its way with me And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight I will not be giving in tonight Try as I might to keep it together Why is recovery taking forever Fool the whole world, just until I get better I'm terrified I'll be faking forever On and on I wonder what went wrong inside my head I don't have to have the answers, but tonight I wish I did All the pain I can't explain away won't fade All the the secrets silenced by the shame Don't make me say it When the hope of morning starts to fade in me I don't dare let darkness have its way with me And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight I will not be giving in tonight