You Think You've Got Problems (Christine Lavin)

I'd like to tell you a story About what it's like to be a walking hypochondriac in the 1990's Oh but I can't 'cause... I'm not feeling good I think I'm coming down with something, Something serious. And I'd like to tell you a story About what it's like to be the pessimistic voice in the crowd everywhere I go Oh but I can't 'cause... what difference whould it make? Everything would still be as terrible as it is right now, So why go on living? I'd like to tell you a story About how I've alienated everybody I've ever met in my whole entire life. Nah, but I can't 'cause... 'Cuz you're so stupid You probably don't even know what a big word like "alineate" even means! Life is hard Life is rough Life is cruel Life is tough Oh, like a dog stuck in a tree I've been abandoned by humanity And I'd like to tell you a story About how hard it is for me to concentrate. I'm so easily distracted everytime I try to do my work Nahh, but I can't tell you about that 'cause.... Ooh! when did I break that nail? Damn, I hate when that happens. And I'd like to tell you a story About how I can't ever seem to make a decision these days I've become so undecided about everything. Nah but I can't cause... Oh yes I can! No I can't... Yes, I can... No! No No No And I'd like to tell you a story About how it feels to be extremely PMS right now Ah but I can't... 'cause I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!! Life is hard Life is rough Life is cruel Life is tough Oh, like a dog stuck in a tree Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, woe is me -