Going To Bed Now (Modern Baseball)

What do you give someone Who's already got one of everything you thought would be the perfect Accoutrement to their unnerving temperament? Attention What could a lowly peasant being like myself Offer a perfect pleasant savior of humanity The redeemer of us sickly, sinning hillbillies? Attention Just one more resounding stab at all the others You've almost blown your cover But your traps don't stick One more bottle should do the trick Discreetly cleansing the remnants of every disdainful quip You found no escape route But I know you well enough to hate you now It's too bad you haven't figured that out What do you call someone Who calls you out on DIY ethics you don't embody As he drains his dad and mommy's monthly data plan? An asshole With an iPhone I'll admit, I'm in the same boat Caught between my adolescent safety net And where the world wants me to be But I never use that as an excuse To treat my friends the way that you treat me Just one more distorted, sad attempt at humor From the jagged, bleeding tumor in our throat Malignance at best, and quick to address yourself As anything other than what we've learned to expect The patron saint of Good God Damn I'll kick myself to sleep Before I shake that grimy, dirty, crusted, arrogant hand So please leave my house