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The Book Of Nook (Starbomb)

Oh, shit, let's play Animal Crossing now Come on everybody I'll show you how Now listen real close, I'ma tell you the sitch Cause my name is Tom Nook and I run this bitch Congratulations, you bought a new home Oh, you can't afford it? I can give you a loan You can catch some bugs till the debt's been paid Cause you're the newest member of my slave trade That's right motherfucker, this shit got real I rule this crossing with my balls of steel I also like to rule it with huge ass guns And Timmy and Tommy, my giant mongoloid sons Kapp'n the turtle's gonna be your new guide Who can show you where the people who have crossed me died So give me your bells and don't misbehave Or I'll get Mr. Resetti to fucking dig you a grave Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing is not a place you wanna fuck around Now you're in Nook's town Where crazy shit goes down So sell seashells and make some bells and shut your fucking mouth Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing, this is his land Now taste the back of his pimp hand His balls are brass And he's the mayor of your fucking ass Damn, that's right, slut You got once choice, bow down or get cut You better recognize the tanuki tycoon And my thug life gang of adorable goons My owl assassin with a little bow tie You don't matter to Blathers, he'll make your ass die He'll tell you 'bout insects, letters and numerals And he'll get K.K. to fucking sing at your funeral Kicks sells shoes and he doesn't take sass And my boots are beautiful when I stomp your ass Brewster serves you coffee and scones And stabs your neck if you don't pay my loan So sell some shit to my alpacas down south And if you don't, I'll-pack-a my nuts in your mouth You want in this town, you better bring some bells Or I'll cock the Glock and fucking send you to hell Yeah! What, you don't like my prices? Then go somewhere else! Oh wait, you can't; you're trapped in my town, bitch! So go to that island, and catch some beetles, sell them to my alpacas Your nuts are on special!