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Penguin in Bondage (Zappa Frank)

Thank you. Brian, I could use a little bit more monitor. Hello hello, can't you turn up any more than that? Hello hello, hey! Alright! Pardon me folks. The name of this song is Penguin in Bondage, An' it's a song that ah, deals with the possible variations on a basic theme which is...well, You understand what a basic theme is. And then the variations include ah, manoeuvres that might be executed with the aid of ah, extra-terrestrial gratification and devices which might or might not be supplied in a local department store or perhaps a drugstore but at very least in one of those fancy new shops that they advertise in the back-pages of the free press. This song suggests to the suggestible listener that the ordinary procedure ah, That I am circumlocuting at this present time in order to get this text on television, Is that ah, if you wanna do something other than what you thought you were gonna do when you first took your clothes off and you just happened to have some DEVICES around... Then it's, it's not only okay to get into the PARAPHERNALIA of it all but...Hey! What did he say? Ready? She's just like a penguin in Bondage, boy Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh... Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn Way over on the wet side Of the bed (Knirps for moisture) Just like the mighty Penguin Flappin' her eight ounce wings Lord, you know it's all over If she comes atcha on the strut & wrap `em all around yer head Flappin her eight ounce wings, flappinumm She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy Shake up the pale-dry Ginger ale Tremblin' like a Penguin When the battery fail Lord, you must be havin' her jumpin' through a hoopa real fire With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh... Rennenhenninnahenninneninahenn Howlin' over to some Antarcticulated moon In the frostbite nite With her flaps gone white Shriekin' as she spot the hoop across the room Lord, you know it must be a Penguin bound down When you hear that terrible screamin' and there ain't no other Birds around She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh... She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh... Rennenhenninnahenninneninahennn Aw, you must be careful Not to leave her straps TOO LOOSE `Cause she just might box yer dog She just might box yer doggie An' leave you a dried-up dog biscuit...