The Dangerous Kitchen (Zappa Frank)

The dangerous kitchen If it ain't one thing it's another In the middle of the night when you get home The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy The meat things Where the cats ate through the paper The can things with the sharp little edges That can cut your fingers when you're not looking The soft little things on the floor that you step on They can all be DANGEROUS Sometimes the milk can hurt you (If you put it on your cereal Before you smell the plastic container) And the stuff in the strainer Has a mind of its own So be very careful In the dangerous kitchen When the night time has fallen, And the roaches are crawlin' In the kitchen of danger You can feel like a stranger The bananas are black They got flies in the back And also the chicken In the dish with the foil Where the cream is all clabbered And the salad is frightful Your return in the evening Can be less than delightful You must walk very careful You must not lean against it It can get on your clothing It can follow you in As you walk to the bedroom And you take all your clothes off While you're sleeping It crawls off It gets in your bed It could get on your face then It could eat your complexion You could die from the danger Of the dangerous kitchen Who the fuck wants to clean it? It's disgusting and dirty The sponge on the drainer Is stinky and squirty If you squeeze it when you wipe up What you get on your hands then Could un-balance your glands and Make you blind or whatever In the dangerous kitchen At my house tonight