Call Me Maybe Parody (The Key of Awesome)

CARLY We met last night at the club You told me you were in love Came home and smushed in the tub And now you're in my yard Woke up and saw you were gone Your running across my lawn without your pants or shoes on Here comes my St. Bernard Vodka was flowin' Butt cleavage was showin' Your mind I was blowin' Man we were so freaking wasted Tag, you're my boyfriend. My name is Carly But all my doctors, just call me "crazy" I made you poptarts with extra gravy But I'm a call girl, you have to pay me! Psych, I'm just kidding. Aren't I crazy Let's watch 12 hours of Chelsea Lately And all the other boys try to taaaaaze me The doors are locked now. You can't escape me. C'mon lets do sex again I want to be more than friends Look how far my legs can bend DOUG I'm sorry I can't stay Look I don't mean to be rude But, I don't think that we screwed CARLY I've got the pictures to prove it Hey don't look away You're my one and only That's what my dog told me But, don't think you own me Now lets sacrifice some chickens I've got some hand cuffs Feel free to spank me But here's the safe word It's "call me maybe" CARLY Hey, this is my band, they seem to haaaate me DOUG They don't look like they're really playing CARLY Crap that's my husband he's in the NAVY He's gonna to kill you. He's also crazy. HUSBAND I'm gonna kill you cus that's my "laaaady" What's going on here? CARLY He tried to rape me HUSBAND When people try to rape "my wife" it makes me so mad. It makes me feel bad I'm gonna kick your ass Come to think of it my wife is just guy in drag I need a real man So call me maybe