Stubborn (Senser)

I'm lost, I'm lost, isolated, I'm drifting, I'm sifting through the sand of my motherland now I pay the cost Exposed to the rays of the heat that are burning down my back I'm crawling, then falling on my knees but no-one hears my pleas. I lie with the demons coming outta the sandstone, vultures strip my bones and now I'm conscious but yet I'm all alone and all the shit I've been fearing is now appearing Yes the air is screaming but I'm not dreaming, no. Not dreaming now. No dreaming now. And after torniquet tightens on vein then I begin again. Retinas burn from the glare on the wing of a plane Now without thinking I respond, first comes to seal the bond with myself and then further beyond. The air, dry, breeds clear thoughts, a level head. I'll be no use to my loved ones when I'm dead so I pass the time learning, planning, assimilating till I excel and I can tell that these mountains are not a cage but a gauge of all the unseen majesty they will always be part of me. And though I trusted and was lied to by my own I bear no grudge and I carry no millstone. No, I carry nothing. Fucked over in a small pressurized cabin, a wound is a safe place to crawl. A warm place, would I throw it all away? End it all? The pain is so reliable. What do I remember? Old words. I learn new words, absorb, explore. Fall down in the dust and smell the rain, metallic. When I fall I will stand up again, stubborn boy, disease passes through me like spirits. When I break I will heal and when I fall I will stand up again.