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The Pains Of Sleep (Pantheist)

Ere on my bed my limbs I lay It hath not been my use to pray With moving lips or bended knees But silently, by slow degrees My spirit I to Love compose In humble trust mine eye-lids close With reverential resignation No wish conceived, no thought expressed Only a sense of supplication A sense o'er all my soul impressed That I am weak, yet not unblessed Since in me, round me, every where Eternal Strength and Wisdom are But yester-night I prayed aloud In anguish and in agony Up-starting from the fiendish crowd Of shapes and thoughts that tortured me Sense of intolerable wrong And whom I scorned, those only strong Thirst of revenge, the powerless will Still baffled, and yet burning still Desire with loathing strangely mixed On wild or hateful objects fixed Fantastic passions ! maddening brawl And shame and terror over all Deeds to be hid which were not hid Which all confused I could not know Whether I suffered, or I did For all seemed guilt, remorse or woe My own or others still the same Life-stifling fear, soul-stifling shame So two nights passed, the night's dismay Saddened and stunned the coming day Sleep, the wide blessing, seemed to me Distemper's worst calamity The third night, when my own loud scream Had waked me from the fiendish dream O'ercome with sufferings strange and wild I wept as I had been a child And having thus by tears subdued My anguish to a milder mood Such punishments, I said, were due To natures deepliest stained with sin For aye entempesting anew The unfathomable hell within The horror of their deeds to view To know and loathe, yet wish and do Such griefs with such men well agree But wherefore, wherefore fall on me To be beloved is all I need And whom I love, I love indeed