Want

Recoil

I want to know how it will end. 
I want to be sure of what it will cost. 
I want to strangle the stars for all they promised me. I want you to call me on your drug phone. 
I want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later. 
I want to be there when you learn the cost of desire. I want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win. 
I want the name of the ruiner. 
I want matches in case I have to suddenly burn. 
I want you to know that being kind is overrated. 
I want to write my secret across your sky. 
I want to watch you lose control. 
I want to watch you lose. 
I want to know exactly what it’s going to take. 
I want to see you insert yourself into glory. 
I want your touches to scar me so I’ll know where you’ve been. 
I want you to watch when I go down in flames. 
I want a list of atrocities done in your name. 
I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back.I want to remember when my nightmares were clearer. 
I want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open. 
I want to taste my own kind. 
I want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it’s different on this side. 
I want you to come on strong. I want to leave you out in the cold. 
I want the exact same thing but different. 
I want some soft drugs…some soft, soft drugs. 
I want to throw you. 
I want you to know I know. 
I want to know if you read me. 
I want to swing with my eyes shut and see what I hit. 
I want to know just how much you hate me so I can predict what you’ll do. 
I want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted. 
I want a controlling interest. I want to be somewhere beautiful when I die. I want to be your secret hater. I want to stop destroying you but I can’t. And I want and I want and I want and I will always be hungry. 
And I want and I want and I want.