Man Who Couldn`t Cry

Cash Johnny

   D                    C
1. There once was a man who just couldn't cry
   G                                   D
   He hadn't cried for years and for yers
                                       C
   Napalmed babies and the movie "Love Story"
   G                                 D
   For instance could not produce tears
             A           G                 D
   As a child he had cried as all children will
                C                         D
   Then at some point his tear ducts ran dy
                     C
   He grew to be a man, it all hit the fan
   G                                 D
   Things got bad, but he couldn't cry
   
2. His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
   And after that he got sacked from his job
   Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
   Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
   His novel was refused, his movie was panned
   And his big Broadway show was a flop
   He got sent off to jail;  you guessed it, no bail
   Oh, but still not a dribble or drop
   
3. In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
   And made to make license plates
   Water and bread was all he was fed
   But not once did a tear stain his face
   Doctors were called in, scientists, too
   Theologians were last and practically least
   They all agreed sure enough;  this was sure no cream puff
   But in fact an insensitive beast
   
4. He was removed from jail and placed in a place
   For the insensitive and the insane
   He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
   And he wept every time it would rain
   Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
   And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
   On the forty-first day, he passed away
   He just dehydrated and died
   
5. Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
   Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
   Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
   Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
   His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
   The theologians were finally found out
   Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
   The earth suffered perpetual drought